(no subject)

It's the coldest August day I can remember. This does not bode well for tonight's much delayed joint Li- and- me 21 bday downtown extravaganza. Fuck I just hope it's a fun night and I intend to drink enough that anything will be fun. After a 6 day week followed by a sole night of weekend that's about all I can do. However, I have decided to never plan anything ever again, I am apparently the worst at it. EVER. It's way too fucking frustrating to attempt to plan a night out that somehow differs from what we always do -with the crew with whom we always do it. There are so few places to shake yo ass on a sat night that are in the free to 5 dolla price range especially if you're dragging along a bunch of guys with you. To get anything free in this city you must be blessed with tits and ass, speaking of--a ladies night is soon in order. But seriously who the hell knew that so much thought would be involved? what's everyone doing tonight (exams/work/out of town the answer)? where can we drink *cheaply* where can we dance *cheaply* where can we eat...you guessed it... like the poor-ass students that we are? argh fuck it. But I still hope it's a night to remember, because we'll only ever be 21 once. Although I'd love to stay 21 for the next 5 years because it's such a great age. Ahh the sweet, sweet student life (haha remind me I said this when exams hit) when I can get up at 11 go to 3 hours of class, have fridays off and still seem smart! Also-I relish the fact that I'm still not quite old enough to always "know better" and this definitely won't last. Anyway here's to tonight

and I said baby...it's 3am I must be lonely

Argh it's 3:30 and instead of being at work I'm at home sick-being home sick is much less fun than working. There's fucking nothing to do at 330 besides.... well besides nothing. just waitin til the antibiotics kick in on this sick throat infection. --hope to be back to work tomorrow.
despite this impending infection this weekend somehow still managed to kick ass in a very subdued way. Friday morning breakfast/value villaging with Li was fabulous! Nothing beats good conversation and a super delicious waffle breakfast with strawberries (drool, drool). also, i have a brand new (second hand) favourite pair of pants. They fit great and (if i do say so myself) make my ass look cute! ah value village shopping sprees are the BEST. Cute pants for 10 dollah and there are no stupid skinny sales girls trying to pressure me into buying something or asking what my size is!
Although disapointed that jackie and I couldn't work up the club on Sat, due to my impending sickiness, Sat night was still a chill sort of fun. Spent it girl-talkin in jackie's car and then hanging out in newly mohwaked Brad's basement for a lil SNL and laughs with the crew. Brad had many a central american story to tell and elliot is going to the philipines later this week. Me, I've got less than two weeks til I go to Colombia!! I'm nervous and excited! Must begin packing soon for sensous South America
My boy also called this weekend from-what he says, is a very cold-Irland-just to tell me that he misses me! This makes me giddy because I can't stop thinking about him and am having a hard time trying not to wish away my summer-still bursting with fruit flavour-just so I can kiss him again.

and now.4am, maybe there's something on t.v...

(no subject)

NXNE tonight!! so excited. must try and party it up-kind of disapointed that I missed out due to massive loads of work this week but that's all good.
GM continues to be an education in the working class.
it's interesting to see how they run such a mad enterprise ($40 000 US/truck x 400 trucks a shiftx3 shifts a day=my head hurts) and the constant struggle between workers and management.
it makes me wonder why the fuck management tends to give people such a hard time. Personally, everyone's been really wicked to me and my supervisor seems really chill but I can see that that isn't the way it tends to be, especially out on main line and for the full timers. I can see now first hand how fucking cheap companies can be just to keep their costs down and productivity high--haha not that that's some big suprise but it's just funny. when you are short of workers it makes sense to hire more!!!! --I'm also really excited about the gym-met one of dad's buddies this morning that's a personal trainer and he's all about showing me how to use the excercise ball. this is very cool because it's cheap and i could do it at home--i would LOVE to be in better shape all year and have "killer abs"-although i'm more than willing to give this a shot i'm dubious re the "killer abs"
i'm enthralled by robert jordan and the funky gypsy pilar
what oh what will become of them?
any way got to go party it up tonight!! woooo!!

once again; the goddess of the night!

I woke up today, wondering what I should do. try and get a job? wait on GM? go back to bed? After rolling over lazily, drifting off for a while and waking up to indulge in more than an hour of literary titilation by D.H Lawrence I got a phone call....

fuck yeah. fuck yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh. I did the happy dance, I may have sounded overeager to once again be GM's lil corporate-assembly-line-whore but believe me; you would too!!!!! So there it is. Not that i'm relishing the actual *working* part but meh. I'm most definitely up for the challenge and it makes me so happy to know that I can help mom if she needs it. baby, i'll be breakin out those steel toed shoes.

I now have 4 days to indulge in lazy summerness, catch up on old errands/cleaning and old friends. Started by going out with Smilin jacks R; who I worked with last summer. Too cool of a night. Hung out at the most chill of neighbourhood bars and then drooled over Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing!
Now want to catch up with some gifties and the beverly girls.

i am so happy!!
i must now keep myself as healthy as possible, am not allowed to get sick in colombia, am not allowed to acquire repetitive stress injuries, will likely be working out most everyday at GM's beautiful gym equiped with TVS!
I miss my sexy serbian...

(no subject)

I feel so stupid, happy and numb.

I hope to get the job as a hostess, i think my vacation of washing away exam stress should be capped at the one month mark.
especially now that everyone is getting jobs, going to summer school or ditching me for assorted places like europe. my errands have been run, i have drunk/smoked/relaxed the stress from my brain/body to the point where this is likely the *most chill* i've ever been. haha-this is saying a lot because I can be slightly neurotic and tightly wound. The one lose end hanging over my head is being practically 21 and not having a driver's license. tabernac!

yo elena. I must give you a call soon. dad's phone plan changed and apparently i can just call the states whenever I want. beauteous. *loved* the card. so great, made me daydream of excellent thelma and louis type road trip to montreal. hope that goes down this summer.
i should follow suit and owe you a letter; it's great to get actual mail that's not bills.
re: op-you-know-what; got some...stories that is.

I can only hope that a weekend of goodbyes means a summer of (forgive the cheesiness; i'm tired) new beginnings.

~Cat B
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hot town, summa in the cit-ayyyy

after 1 mo of exams, where studying, pretending to study and stressing about studying when i was wasting time was the norm, i have finally stumbled upon summer; sweet, sweet, glorious summer.
It's been an amazing week, with many amazing friends at Mer's wicked ass end of the year party followed up by a visit to Frans. And, good bar converesation, dart games, summer ice cream cones and movie nights, even an unexpected skunk!

Also 3 nights at the beach, league volleyball tonight (though we suck), a j on the beach yesterday with good friends. and looking out onto the lake, I'd swear i'd never seen anything quite as beautiful as a sunset at ASSbridges (haha mom) bay.
humidity in the T.O is making me feel lazy and good.
the tulips are out, the magnolias are blooming and smelling incredibly sweet, and
~i believe in the sand beneath my toes, the beach gives a feeling, an earthy feeling...~
sigh... soo good are the things...
Dork that I am, I think i'm *finally* falling off the fence about a certain sexy man who never quite looked as good as he does now that i know he's game for playing jenga at 4am. hahahahaha. Although he's quite the gentleman, never failing to offer a hand or a jacket, he most definitely has a dirtay side that i'm, ahem, a bit curious about. He also doesn't laugh at me when i do retarded shit like fall down the stairs (no joke, man i woulda laughed) and has enough patience with me to a)not kick my ass for being an indecisive bastard and b)to try and teach me how to skip stones even though i'm hopeless at it. hee hee, he makes me shy and giggly which no on has for a fucking while. .hahaha. I hesitate though cuz I can't imagine us having 'really deep' conversations about philosophy and politics.. haha what the hell is my problem? i mean really how often do I do that anyway? i mean all those 'really deep' convos I had when I was 17 would probably make me cringe now.

In other rambles, I got a passport today in recordbreaking time in order to go to COLOMBIA for 2 wks this july. holy shit am i excited. Won't say if i'm going for sure 'til the end of the weekend when my ticket should be bought...i'm nervous but then again i have to start grabbing life by the cajones haha or I really will wake up 50 with no great stories. i mean honestly why pass up a ticket that dad's offering to pay for? I'm definitely worried about the employment situation but i'm sure it'll work itself out, and if not, i'll just have to manage. speaking of, maybe tomorrow should actually be resume day?
and it sucks that although it's sunny and miami-hot in Toronto that it's snowing, nay blizzarding, in Brandon....
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    have FUN go MAD

(no subject)

a lesson in delayed gratification...

keep studying.

~Cat whose new hero is Kanzi the pygmi chimp who learned how to use lexigrams and actually tried to speak!

Ever Blazin

-the leafs are eva blazin; provin once and for all that T-dot kicks ottawa's sorry ass. period.

-sean paul's song is eva blazin in my head, can't get it out cuz it's so damn sexy. hell, half the time i don't know what he's saying but it matters not. sean paul i want to have your love child.

-studying is eva sucking. 9 am tomorrow morn=3 hours of political essay writing. can't wait til it's over then it's 3 down 5 to go. i do not know how i will manage to get up at 730 ish seeing as last time i was up that early (sat morn)--it was because i was coming home from the previous night's adventures.

-kind of looking forward to conflict resolution class and the dalai lama on sunday. maybe even a kegger after my learning exam monday night? remains to be seen.

--ha ha this guy came to my door a few hours ago and was all like wanna buy some (Crappy) stuff and support summer jobs for students? what? do I? hell no, i'm a student and i as yet don't have a summer job, maybe i should ask him to give me money. at any rate, you won't see me knocking on your sorry ass door this summer.

-sigh, and now it's back to...studying...but my brain is starting to feel fried, neurons misfiring in all directions.

so many things i should be doing, don't want to do any of them....

Bah, so here i am 1 week away from my first exam yet still a good what? 2 1/2 weeks til the end? it's finally april and i walked around today without a jacket!! i swear i heard a choir of angels since in exaltation, it was exciting indeed.
bah i can't focus--although i know i should- it's crunch time and when my conflict resolution class starts i'll have less study time.
i can't believe that another year at university is over... i do indeed have this awful feeling that i'll wake up with wrinkles-or at the very least, 30. I mean where did the last 3 years go? gah!The last couple of days i've had this feeling of jumpy laziness. if that makes any sense, i don't want to do anything that i should be doing (STUDYING, STUDYING, OH GOD, NO MORE STUDYING) but i want to go out and do something exciting, passionate... i just can't think of anything in particular.
I wish i knew what i'd be doing this summer. will i or will i not work at GM? if only i knew- i could plan accordingly.
if i knew i wasn't then i could plan to try and do something exciting-maybe leave the city and try and get a job on a cruise ship-alas the mere possiblity of more assembly line nights has cut that possibility out. I guess i'll just get a job at a restaurant and see how it goes.
i bought many a cadbury egg today, yay to after easter chocolate sales. reminds me of days in leaside where we'd go to the dominion and joyously buy bags of eggs. speaking of, crap i really should start eating better--i can't use 3 weeks of exams as a reason to gorge or i won't be able to show my fat ass on the beach!
-pout- i have two equally fucked up 'crushes' on guys i chill with. This is annoying because although both are mad cool to hang out with, and very adorable (tee hee), neither is really quote 'my type'. I mean they are in terms of bar banter but not in terms of that electrifying half-whispered conversation I imagine having with someone at 3 in the morning. damn, i better find someone who is ('my type' that is) before i get drunk and do something stupid... (but then again would it really be that bad?)

enough of the nothingness,
tomorrow i swear i WILL be productive.
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    just a friend (2000)...baaaaaaabe got what i neeeed (haha)


So I just spent the last few hours ploughing through an exam review of game theory models. hmpth to game theory is really all i have to say about that....

all i could think about all night was how great it could be if i were in a hammock licking the salt off the rim of my marguarita.....or in a *good* club with a young dirty dancing Patrick Swayze type sexin it up to some sultry reggae beats..

anyhoo, ppl are not rational (so why rational choice models?!) , religion can be a source of peace and reconciliation AND if you care to listen, i will tell you exactly how prisoner's dilemma applies to arms races.

I got a really fucked up email today where a old boss from O.P (who I didn't like-i thought he was uptight and lame) told us all that his co-boss (who i also wasn't particulary fond of-i thought she was sort of a dork AND thanks to the pair of them i can never work at O.P again)passed away! what? she died? damn she was only two years or so older than me. I feel awful about it. And to make matters worse, I can't really say that I liked her (it was mostly just job politics she was my boss afterall), which makes me feel guilty that i'm speaking (only slightly) ill of the dearly departed. Ofcourse, the fact that i didn't really like her all that much has no bearing on how awful I feel that she died. I wrote a poorly worded 3 line letter of condolences to boss and I just didn't really know what to say, someone that I knew ndying that young is just, obviously unsettling. It's conjuring up morbid and depressing images I haven't been able to shake all day. And I guess it just makes me wish I could have done something besides study today-it's scary to think that life's that finite, that an unexpected turn of events could be so, tragic. fuck ..
spring ahead means it's 4 am
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